| Grief is the normal and natural reaction
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| | pet can invoke feelings that can be just
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| when a pet has died. Everyone, including
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| | as painful as the death of a person for
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| children perceives loss differently.
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| | children of all ages. Tell your child the
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| Grief is a very personal and unique
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| | truth about their pet, do not replace it
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| experience. One of the most difficult
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| | and hope that they won't notice. It is
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| tasks for grieving children is to learn
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| | helpful to their growth and development
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| how to incorporate the death of a pet
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| | through childhood to learn how to process
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| into their life and to figure out how to
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| | bad news and begin accepting that death
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| go on living without them.
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| | is a natural part of life. Include
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| Regardless of their age, children can
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| | children whenever possible when disposing
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| experience shock, denial, confusion,
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| | of their pet's body and ask them about
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| sadness, anger, blame, withdrawal,
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| | how they would like to say their final
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| wishing, acceptance and healing after a
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| | good-bye. Children have the natural
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| pet dies. Keep in mind that children
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| | ability to balance compassion and
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| grieve differently at different ages.
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| | creativity to ensure that their pet has a
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| Younger children do not understand that
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| | meaningful burial or funeral. They may
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| death is final, sometimes not until the
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| | even wish to invite friends to honor the
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| ages of nine or ten years. It is
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| | life of their pet.
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| important that adults support children
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| | Ages 10-12
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| based on their individual needs as well
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| | Children of this age group may want to
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| as each child's unique ability to
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| | help you make decisions about the
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| comprehend the finality of death. The
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| | disposal of their pet's body. However,
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| younger the child, the more confusing the
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| | know that they may also be quite
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| finality of death can be.
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| | squeamish. They may find significance
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| It is important to be honest with
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| | and meaning in rituals that honor others,
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| children, but remember, that sometimes
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| | even their pet. A special pet frame or
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| less information is better. Do not tell
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| | Pet Loss Tomauro(R) Kit may be helpful to
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| you child that you sent their pet away,
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| | memorialize their beloved pet. Do not
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| when it has actually died. You could
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| | attempt to replace your pet with one that
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| gently let children know that his pet's
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| | looks similar to lessen a child's grief.
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| body was badly hurt in an accident and
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| | Talk to them about the feelings children
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| that its body cold not be fixed or that
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| | and adults have after someone or
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| her pet's body stopped working. Parents
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| | something they love dies to help them
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| are often confused about how to explain
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| | process their own feelings.
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| when a pet is "put to sleep". You could
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| | Teenagers
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| use this term with children, but remember
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| | The bond between a teen and their pet
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| to explain the difference between death
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| | contains such unconditional qualities;
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| and sleep and that their pet will not be
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| | therefore the death of a pet can be
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| coming back.
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| | devastating to a teen. It is likely that
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| It not necessary to try to make your
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| | teenagers experiencing this type of loss
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| child believe that death is final.
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| | may have enjoyed several years with their
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| Understand that acquiring this
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| | pet throughout their childhood. It is
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| information is a natural developmental
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| | important to validate and not minimize
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| process that happens when your child is
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| | this type of loss for teenagers. They can
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| ready to accept it. You may even notice
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| | benefit from hugs, offers to help them
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| that it may seem like your child fully
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| | cope and little notes that show you care.
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| understands that death is final, only to
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| | Pet loss can induce many different
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| be surprised a few weeks later to learn
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| | feelings in teenagers and it is important
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| that they do not. This is perfectly
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| | that you allow them opportunities to
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| normal.
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| | process their loss in ways that they feel
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| Believe in your child's ability to create
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| | comfortable, as long as they are safe.
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| a meaningful goodbye for their pet.
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| | Activities for All Ages
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| Encourage them to make a special goodbye
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| | - Draw a picture about your pet. Have
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| picture, write a letter to their pet or
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| | your child tell you about his/her
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| to have a special funeral or memorial
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| | picture.
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| service for their beloved pet.
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| | - Document funny stories and special
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| Age Specific Responses
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| | memories. Gather together pictures for a
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| Ages 3-6
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| | scrapbook or journal.
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| Suppose you have to tell your 4 year old
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| | - Buy a headstone or decorate a rock to
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| that his pet has died. You may
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| | place at the burial site.
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| say,"Remember how Skippy didn't come home
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| | - If your pet is cremated, involve your
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| last night? I have some very sad news,
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| | child in the decision about where to
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| Daddy found him this morning and he had
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| | scatter or place the ashes.
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| been hit by a car. His body was so hurt
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| | - Create a memory box. Decorate the
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| from the accident that he died. Do you
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| | outside. Place inside special momentos, a
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| know what it means to die?" Don't be
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| | dog tag, toy, etc...
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| surprised if your child refuses to
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| | - Plant a tree or bush in memory of your
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| believe you, or insists that she saw her
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| | pet, especially in an area outside that
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| pet or heard him barking. Gently
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| | your pet enjoyed.
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| sympathize with you child, "That would be
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| | - Donate money to an animal related
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| nice, but Skippy died, and we are all
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| | charity in memory of your pet.
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| going to miss him very much."
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| | ©2003, Hoping Skills Company. All rights
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| Ages 7-9
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| | reserved.
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| Keep in mind that the death of a beloved
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